That’s what Ilan told me to do. You see, I am nothing short of insane, which my little ducklings is definitely not sane. Yes, yes, I know, such confusing matters as these may trouble the young and vulnerable minds of those who read. Who might I be? I might be many but, really, my little cheerios, I am Bella. Bella– my alias happens to be Bellaperson of Virtual Spam. The way superior site. You see, Redcowz is inferior in every way shape or form. No, ahaha, I’m just kiddingg! JAY KAYY. 

-clears throat importantly- Anyway, Ilan has known my sister Gabby for awhile and he’s known me way longer, except he somehow trusts Gabby (Darth) more than me. Now, I have many theories on why this is true.

Anyway, let’s see. I have many amazing abilities… but, there are just so many different things. One, I am an amazing writer. ZOMG. YUSS. Well, haha, Ilan says so. He said, “I made you a contributor because you are a good writer.” Note, contributor.

THIS IS AN INFURIATING TOPIC! HE IMMEDIATELY MAKES MY SISTER, GABBY AN AUTHOR, BUT ME–BUT BELLA! NOO! I AM A CONTRIBUTOR!! WEELLL! I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE A CONTRIBUTOR TO PROVE HOW FAR SUPERIOR I AM TO THE INFERIOR AUTHORS. YES! I AM A CONTRIBUTOR! DARTH IS AN AUTHOR! 

Ahaha. I kid, I kid. I seriously don’t mind. I enjoy being a contributor. And now I shall shamelessly advertise my blog (I mean, why not help his a bit? By advertising my blog, it actually helps his blog because mine has the spice of life and amazing other things like that). (lol)

Visit the amazing site: Virtual Spam! This very week we shall host an amazing video project starring none-other than the elusive, infamous, sparklingly gorgeous: SPAM!! Watch as I run tests on the SPAM! Watch as I do strange things such as throw SPAM at walls, poke it, and even EAT it! I know. Gross, right. /end shameless advertising

I asked what I should write about for my very, very, very first post. I wondered if I should openly insult Ilan, but then–then I wouldn’t be here at all so why do something like that? No, no, no that would have been so useless my little kiddies. My second idea was to describe my various theories concerning Darth and Ilan–in amazing depth, but like I said before: that wouldn’t have worked. My third idea would have been waayy too wild and vulgarrr– however, I shall spill the beans. Fine I won’t. Anyway, I’m going to know write a wonderful and beautiful prose on… hmmm… Lesse. Oh, by the way I am the tormenting type for your information. Haha, the tormenting type is really fun so I suggest you join the bandwagon and be a tormentor too.

There it sits!

There on my plate.

It is beautiful like the rising sun in the cool morn.

Alas, alas! It is a few mere specks now. 

I have eaten the cookie. 

I cry, I cry in shame. 

Farewell, O great one.

Farewell, O bejeweled heart that I keep close at night

Farewell, farewell!

Hm. How about a haiku?

The gentle meat.

How I love you so.

The weather forecast for today is Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. Oh, oh, I loove that book!

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Fun time with Bella has ended I fear. I know, I know. I understand how deeply you grieve. I am with you. And do not fear–I will return once more, once more when hope seems slim; when the sun is blocked by shadow. When nothing is left… nothing… nothing. I will return then. Then when life itself seems oh so–so far away. Do not fear. I will stand again. And banish evil. I will return. And when I do–I will bring with me JUSTICE! I will vanquish fear! I will cease despair. Life as we know it–will be changed for the better.

BELLA IS COME!